chatroulette…
found this website tonight, and in the course of an hour i’ve come across 2 topless women, 4 penises and a swedish man with little sense of humour. I’m gonna be at it for a while so will post my favourite chats here:
> Connected, feel free to talk now
You: do you get the feeling about 90% of the people on this thing are hoping for a topless girl to appear? its unsettling.
Stranger: i do
Stranger: i would say 99%
You: i’m chatting to the lips from rocky horror?!
Stranger: nope
You: i didn’t see that coming.
You: niceeeeeeeee
Stranger: what about that then
Stranger: talented aint she
Stranger: where u from
You: i think they are lips from ROCKy horror. the porno musical.
You: england! yourself?
Stranger: well, i was in that show and they aint them
Stranger: england too
Stranger: so you dont like this site then
You: where abouts in england? did you know swedish people have no sense of humour? spoke to like 3 of them in the past 10 minutes. one of them was masterbating though… it was weird. i think I put him off.
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: brazillians r the worst
Stranger: misserable mother fuckers
Stranger: was chatting to a hot girl from finland a bit back
You: the site is unusual… it really is roulette. its like 1% breasts, 10% masterbation and 89% disconnection
Stranger: no tits tho
Stranger: hahaha, i get a lot of disconection
Stranger: i wish the cam detect thing would work better
Stranger: people like u with blank cams!!!!!!
You: i might start opening my convos with “if you disconnect, you tits/cock will explode (and not in a good way)”
You: that should keep them around.
Stranger: maybe
Stranger: they dont even read i think
Stranger: just looking for gash
You: i don’t have a cam i’m afraid! i don’t like the idea of people seeing the look of horror and I see their penis…
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: i love it, i have a funny gif i put on and i love the reactions
Stranger: wanna see it
You: i might practice my “pretty fucking small” look, to knock their self confidence a bit.
You: yeah go for it!
Stranger: weeeeeeeeee
You: it just keeps going…
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: i get some good reactions from that one
You: what is that hes cumming on? a shoe box?!
Stranger: a table i think
Stranger: well done for noticing details tho
You: looks reflective… it was probably a nice table before he did that…
Stranger: maybe thats why its reflective, acts as polish
You: ahhhh good call! and i’m wasting my money on pledge!
Stranger: wow, we have discovered something here, get on the phone to kim and aggie quick
You: they’d probably swab it for germs. would ruin the whole moment!
You: lol! thats a good one!
Stranger: true, they would need quite a few swabs!!!!!
Stranger: hahahaha. i fucking ;ove this place
You: its mental! always good for a random convo!
Stranger: heard there are a few forums every so often that flood it
Stranger: u seen cat man
Stranger: http://i.imgur.com/UG4Qg.jpg
You: i’ve seen a man with a cat, is this some kind of cross breeding experiment?!
Stranger: i want to meet him
You: amazing. i might get a webcam and get a couple of costumes going. maybe a massive pair of tits. people can’t complain then!
Stranger: a cross dressing squirell maybe
You: that would be good. I might dress as jesus, and have a very disappointed look on my face
Stranger: dosent he always, miserable bastard
Stranger: wont let u do anything
Stranger: what part of uk u from then bad boy?
You: i reckon if he ever had a second coming he’d be a porn star.
Stranger: yorkshire here
You: sunny norwich! yourself? premptive reply! nice!
Stranger: i got bored of waiting
Stranger: :)
Stranger: is it snowy
You: he’d be a porn star, and his first film would be called “the second CUMMING” he’d turn water into cum, then throw it at women.
You: nah its not to bad tonight! it was pretty bad new years eve!
Stranger: OMG, u have thought about this far too much@@@
You: who wouldn’t think about it?! i’m hoping I can score exclusive publishing rights.
Stranger: well if u talk it over with the pope he may go jalves with you
Stranger: try jumping on him if he says no
Stranger: here, have some boobs
You: he could do a cameo! he could be like the copy repair man, except he’ll be trying to exorcise some girl. then jesus will walk in and do her, and the pope will jack it in the corner for the duration
Stranger: wow
You: yeah, i’m going to hell for that one.
Stranger: would he have a super shlong
You: yeah, pretty sure jesus never walked on water, he used his member as a “third leg” to keep balance.
Stranger: or he whizzed it around as a propeller
You: hes so fertile that he got his mother pregnant before he was conceived. you know a guy like that wouldn’t mind doing some weird porn.
Stranger: i think just by watching it u would get pregnant
Stranger: even if u were a dude
Stranger: ok, i need to go scare people with giant cum
You: yeah it would be mental. as a dvd extra I could offer the seed of the lord
You: and by offer, I mean force it upon.
You: good luck!
Stranger: nice talking to u mentalist
You: you too!
Stranger: FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahha
Stranger: just kidding
Stranger: c ya
> Your partner disconnected. Press “Next” to find a new person!
> Connected, feel free to talk now
Stranger: peddo!
> Your partner disconnected. Press “Next” to find a new person!
> Connected, feel free to talk now
Stranger: oi ;)
You: did you just get naked?
Stranger: no
Stranger: I have jeans on and socks and stuff
Stranger: its just very warm
> Your partner disconnected. Press “Next” to find a new person!
after this convo, i connected to two masterbating men in a row. the first one caught me off guard, but I managed to keep the second one on long enough to send him a tub girl image. I saw him gag. It was wonderful. except for all the penis.
Thanks chatroulette for taking my innocence.
