Rape and seagulls
Hi Kids!
Sorry its been a while since i’ve posted. I’ve been enjoying an involutary but much appreciated 2 week break from the internet following a house move. I can’t help but feel i’ve been more productive without the internet. Oh well, thats the end of that. I’m back baby!
Anyway, on with explaining the title. On the way to work a couple of days ago I noticed a large bus ad for what looked like a very fancy keyring with floral patterns on it. In big letters was “Ila Personal alarm - It Screams.”
Strange ad, I thought to myself. It wasn’t until a little further down the road that I figured out what was being advertised. Its essentially a rape alarm. A designer rape alarm. Trust the fashion industry to create a cool and sexy looking alarm to prevent attackers.
Are there actually girls out there who have been looking for a sleek and sexy answer to their rape alarm needs? Sure, I’m being attacked, but at least I look stylish while I try to get away. Every cloud… I can almost see the advert.
It starts with a woman walking down an alleyway, being followed by a masked man. She starts to run, but he catches her and pins her against the wall, she struggles and manages to pull her hand free. ZOOM IN ON FLORAL DESIGN RAPE ALARM. She pulls it and it lets out an almighty scream. The attacker falls to the ground, head in hands, The woman walks away confidently, emerging to a large group of paparazzi at the other end of the alley. She spins showing off her perfectly straightened hair and Ila personal attack alarm. Camera zooms in, cut to womans face who smiles and says “It Screams”. As she struts away from the camera looking like a confident modern woman.
Beautiful, right? Of course, there is a chance the attacker will see the shiny, fancy looking rape alarm, catch on that the girl might actually have a bit of money, rape her and leave with her handbag.
I’m not sure that advert would be so popular though.
Also
Has anyone ever seen a seagull close up? Those fuckers a fierce looking. I actually walked a different way to work the other day to avoid one. He was giving me the old crazy eyes. I didn’t trust him…
That is all! have a good day (rape free) day!
